he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We need to rekindle our bromance
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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