Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
