now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
