not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
