Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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