I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
