They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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