You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
