Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
