she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
