i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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