I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Are we still banned from the library?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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