i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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