So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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