No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she looked like the before picture.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
