would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
