my shit smells like andre
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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