sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
