420 ftw
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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