these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
