Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
