It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
