5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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