I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
