I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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