Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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