Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We need to get me chipped asap
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
