Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
