why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
