I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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