I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
