Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
These tits shall not be calmed
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
