Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
