She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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