my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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