currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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