Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
