So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When are your genitals available?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
