That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
