I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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