we have officially lost it.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
