CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
