I want to make a zoo with you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
