Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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