Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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