He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
