Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
