I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
