At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
