you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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