it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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