So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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