bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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